I received an email from S today.

I had mentioned things not working out with M and she shed some light on the situation...

"Break ups are unnatural; we were never meant to form a bond and then have it break for whatever reason. It's in the breaks that you realize how deep things went. It sounds like M was cut and dry with yours, that is that he couldn't see a future so he's letting you and he move on to find someone with whom you can make a future. Do you feel like you ever opened up to him or he you?

Insights like these can hurt, but tend to be more true than someone in the situation could ever see. It was a tough realisation, but well needed. She said it clear, she said it blunt.




// Our first date was to the International Kite Festival. As we walked to the festival, M had said that there were so many kites that it would be difficult to see the sky. As we got closer, we realised the small flickering lights in the sky were kites, and that there were only six of them. It seems international doesn't necessarily match with numerous.

I thought it would be easier this time, I didn't think the tears would flow the way they are, but as I lay here hugging this pillow, I hear the heavy thump of my tears slowly flowing onto the bed. With each tear that falls, I am shedding a part of my love for you.

My affection for you has grown over our year together, without me even realising, but by the time it was the end, we had drifted so far, it was too late. In this world, nothing is perfect, which means each person you open your heart to, makes you vulnerable with the risk of pain at the end of the day.

I told myself that I could never love again, however you came into my life lief, and you showed me this all over again.

I'll miss you so.